The Joker - George W Bush (and Dick Cheney)

The King of Spades - Jacob Zuma

The Ace of Diamonds - Shane MacGowan

The Jack of Diamonds - Fabio Capello

The Queen of Diamonds - Christopher Biggins

The King of Clubs - David Abrahams

The Ace of Hearts - Alastair Darling

The Ten of Diamonds - Prince

The Eight of Spades - General Pervez Musharraf

The Ace of Clubs - Sir Ian Blair

The Two of Spades - King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia

The Ten of Clubs - Jonny Wilkinson

The 4 of Spades - Al Gore

The Nine of Diamonds - Lewis Hamilton

The Seven of Spades - Aung San Suu Kyi

The Two of Hearts - Menzies Campbell

The Five of Hearts - Brendan Barber

The King of Diamonds - Luciano Pavarotti

The Seven of Clubs - Tim Henman

The Queen of Spades - Angela Merkel

The Four of Diamonds - Amy Winehouse

The Five of Spades - Thabo Mbeki

The Six of Diamonds - Chris Langham

The Queen of Clubs - JK Rowling

The Jack of Clubs - Alastair Campbell

The Six of Hearts - Jacqui Smith

The Two of Clubs - Alan Johnston

The Queen of Hearts - Harriet Harman

The Six of Clubs - Salman Rushdie

The Three of Diamonds - Paris Hilton

The Ace of Spades - Vladimir Putin

The Four of Clubs - Andrei Lugovoi

The Eight of Hearts - David Cameron

The Jack of Spades - Nicolas Sarkozy

The King of Hearts - Tony Blair

The Five of Clubs - Lord Browne

The Eight of Diamonds - Phil Spector

The Eight of Clubs - Prince William

The Three of Clubs - Boris Berezovsky

The Nine of Spades - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

The Nine of Hearts - Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley

The Jack of Hearts - Gordon Brown

The Six of Spades - Robert Mugabe

The Five of Diamonds - Martin Scorsese

The Three of Hearts - Charles Clarke

The Seven of Diamonds - Britney Spears

The Three of Spades - Kim Jong-il

The Nine of Clubs - Richard Branson